


right where you left me | JJP

by daintydoie



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Exes, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, but it’s not that bad promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daintydoie/pseuds/daintydoie
Summary: “Look me in the eye and tell me that there will be an us in the future. Can you confidently say that we’ll still be together?”26 year old Jinyoung drives back to his hometown to spend a weekend with his family, only to find out that his ex, Jaebeom, is back from America and is currently visiting their hometown as well.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 11
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hiii before anything i just wanna say thank u again to amy for helping me proofread this work !! this au is inspired by taylor swift songs “right where you left me” (what a shocker) and "happiness." hope u enjoy reading <33
> 
> note: the names of jinyoung’s sisters here are fake, i didnt wanna use their real names

The sun reaches its highest point on this chilly Saturday afternoon. Although there aren’t an overwhelming number of cars today, Jinyoung makes an effort to leave his house earlier than usual. He hasn’t seen his family in around 4 months due to his incredibly busy job, and him and his sisters made a bet on who could get to their parents’ house first. With an overnight bag in the passenger seat and his hands on the steering wheel, Jinyoung drives through the high rise buildings and billboards.

He reaches the main bridge that connects the city to the small towns in the countryside. It’s been a while since he passed this bridge, fewer cars here than he expected. After a couple more minutes, he sees his old hometown.

Although Jinyoung came to visit many times before, his hometown still gives off a timeless feel. The grass green and well kept, the simple rustic style of the houses, the neighbourhood children biking with their friends outside. It seemed like most of it stayed the same, minus the residents perhaps. Jinyoung drives past the other houses, as if he was in his school bus coming back home. He finds a house with a dark brown exterior and parks in front of it. Even though his parents are planning to have it repainted, he’ll miss the old brown wood color of their house. He takes his bag from the passenger seat and exits the car. The path leading to the door has small weeds, and his mother’s outdoor plants still look very much alive. He lifts his hand to ring the doorbell, but he hears someone opening the front door.

“The dishwasher has finally arrived!” His oldest sister, Minyoung, answers the door. Jinyoung looks at her, confused. While leaving his shoes near the doorway, he sees his other sister, Hwayoung, in the middle of eating lunch. “Huh? Since when did both of you get here?” “Half an hour ago.” Hwayoung answers while moving to the side and patting the seat next to her. “You guys left earlier, didn’t you?” He puts his bag down. “We left at noon, you’re just salty that you lost the bet!” Minyoung sticks her tongue at him while walking back to the dining table.

“Jinyoung, my son!” His mother gives him a warm hug and kisses his cheek. “I hope the dishes aren’t too much for you.” “Don’t worry mom, I’ll wash them all.” He side eyes his sisters, snickering while shoving kimchi rice in their mouths. “Jinyoung!” His dad calls him over. “Sit down and eat before Minyoung and Hwayoung finish it all.” Jinyoung hangs his coat and sits next to Hwayoung at the table. His mother hands him a bowl of kimchi stew and puts bulgogi on his plate. He takes a spoonful of the stew, still tastes the same even after so long, like the times he requested his mother to make it while he does his homework.

While he catches up with the rest of his family, they hear the doorbell ring. His mom stands up and goes to answer the door. “Oh, Mrs. Im!” The siblings look to the door. “Oh! I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” “No, don’t worry!” The rest of the family politely greet Mrs. Im. “Nice to know the kids came to visit. Um, could I ask for some extra ingredients? I’ll pay you back after today.” “Yes, of course! What do you need?” “Just some tofu. My son decided to surprise me with a visit today!”

Jinyoung suddenly stops eating. Jaebeom’s back? Why would he be back?

Minyoung and Hwayoung notice, and they look at their little brother worryingly. Hwayoung gently places her hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder to try and comfort him.

“Jaebeom? Isn’t he supposed to be in America?” “That’s what I thought too! When I saw him at the doorstep, I told him: What are you doing here?!” Mrs. Im laughs at her own story. “Turns out they gave him a week off, and he flew all the way here! He’s staying at some hotel but he dropped by earlier. He’ll come back here again since I’m preparing dinner for him.”

Jinyoung stands up from the table and goes to the fridge to look for tofu. He finds it and gives it to Mrs. Im. “Oh, thank you Jinyoung!” She takes it from him. “Wow! You look so mature! And so do Minyoung and Hwayoung!” She turns to his mother. “You raised such diligent adults.” His mother proudly smiles at her children. “Oh, Jinyoung! Jaebeom is just walking around in this area, do you want me to call him and tell him you’re here too?”

“Oh no, you don’t have to.” Jinyoung hesitates a bit with his answer. “I’ll just find him and surprise him myself.”

They wave Mrs. Im goodbye and return to the table. Minyoung and Hwayoung give each other a look, surprised with Jinyoung’s answer. They say nothing and continue eating, occasionally glancing at their brother.

______

After washing all the dishes, Jinyoung picks up his bag and goes upstairs. He passes by his sisters’ old shared room and goes to his own room. He sees his posters still on the wall, his bedsheets and figurines left untouched, and his closet is only a little dusty. He opens his closet door and looks through his clothes, going through a couple of hangers. He stumbles upon his yellow high school blazer, the patch of the school seal loosely sewn. He takes it out of the closet and brings it with him to his full length mirror, lifting it to his chest. He highly doubts that it still fits, he’d accidentally rip it if he tried it on again. While looking in the mirror, he notices something sticking out of one of the pockets. He pulls it out to see what it is. 

It’s a picture of him and Jaebeom when they were in high school.

**_*Nearly 10 years ago*_ **

The school bell rings as the students pack up for today. 16 year old Jinyoung grabs the bottled iced tea he left in his locker before his Math test and jogs towards the exit. He takes a couple of sips while looking for his best friend outside. He looks to the side of the building and sees Jaebeom...with a girl. He quickly hides behind a tree and observes.

He sees the girl, not looking Jaebeom in the eyes. She seems nervous, fiddling with the envelope in her hands before handing it to Jaebeom. She meets his eyes for a bit and says something to him, but Jinyoung couldn’t read her lips. Jaebeom takes the note and looks at the girl apologetically. Jinyoung reads his lips: “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way.”

The girl nods and puts her head down, awkwardly shuffling her feet. She grabs her bag from the ground and starts running away, wiping the tears from her eyes. Jaebeom stays silent, he feels terrible for her. He looks back at the envelope she gave him and opens it.

Jinyoung realises that he was staring at Jaebeom’s lips for just a little too long. He snaps out of it and sneaks up on him while his eyes are on the letter. He slaps Jaebeom’s shoulder.

“You bastard! Are you cheating on me?!” Jaebeom jolts at the sudden hit. “Ah! Keep your voice down! Were you watching us the whole time?!” “Nope, just the part where she gave you the letter and ran away. Who was she anyway?” “She’s from one of the freshman classes. Don’t tell anyone about this by the way, I don’t want her to feel more embarrassed.” “I wasn’t planning to.” Jinyoung tries to peak at the letter, but Jaebeom puts it back in the envelope.

“I’m surprised people like you with a haircut like that.” Jinyoung laughs and points at his friend’s hair. “As if yours if any better!” Jaebeom playfully wraps his arm around Jinyoung’s neck and ruffles his hair. The teenage boys race to the bus stop and catch the bus right before it leaves.

“Are you even interested in anyone?” Jinyoung takes the seat near the window and places his bag on his lap so Jaebeom could sit next to him. “I don’t know, honestly. Everyone talks about getting crushes, but I don’t feel that for anyone right now.”

Thank god.

“Maybe you just haven’t met that person yet.” “True. Who knows, I could end up with a guy for all I know.” That sentence catches Jinyoung off guard, he almost chokes on his iced tea. 

“What? You’ve never thought about that before? Being with another guy?” Jaebeom chuckles at his friend. Jinyoung clears his throat. “It’s not that. I just didn’t expect that coming from you.” “From me?”

Jinyoung feels his face turning pink, his head thinking of all kinds of scenarios. Jaebeom? Liking boys? Could he actually have a chance? Stop it, Jinyoung! Stop thinking about the impossible!

“We’re still young. It’s not bad to be curious about things like that, right?” Jaebeom smiles at him. That smile that sends Jinyoung’s heart on a rollercoaster ride. His broad shoulders taking up most of the space, but he doesn’t mind. It’s the closest he can be to Jaebeom at this point, the most intimate he’s ever felt with him. Jinyoung looks at Jaebeom’s hair. It could use some work, but that doesn’t stop him from imagining running his hands through it. He then looks at his eyes, his gorgeous dark brown eyes, with the moles on his eyelid. He could get lost in them. His eyes dart towards his lips, the only one he could read from afar, one that calls his name almost everyday. Finally, he looks down, seeing Jaebeom’s hand on his lap while holding his backpack in the other. Jinyoung's hands are wrapped tightly around his bag, but he is tempted to slowly reach for Jaebeom’s hand. To feel him stroke his thumb on the back of his hand, to never leave his side, to never have to let him go.

“Jinyoung?” Jaebeom waves his hand in front of Jinyoung, blinking rapidly as he snaps back from his lovesick state. He must have spaced out.

“Are you okay?” “Yeah.” Jinyoung stutters, still recovering from almost embarrassing himself in front of him. “I’m a bit traumatised from the Math test earlier.” “Did you even study?” “Well, no. But hey, it’s over!” The two of them laugh it off. Close call.

“Oh yeah!” Jinyoung remembered. “You wanna play video games at my house? Minyoung got me a new game!” “You don’t have any homework today?” “That can wait. Just tell your mom you’re at my house, please!” “Okay, okay.”

Jaebeom texts his mom as the bus stops in front of Jinyoung’s house. They both go down and approach the front door. “You can go in first, I need to water the yard and my mom’s plants before she forgets again.” Jaebeom goes inside and is greeted by Jinyoung’s parents.

He picks up the hose near the front of the house and turns it on, aiming it at the yard. His mind races once again. He can only think of three possible scenarios: 

One, Jaebeom only likes girls. Unfortunate, but that’s not his fault.

Two, Jaebeom does like boys, but not him. Ouch. Probably the worst one.

Three, Jaebeom ends up liking no one at all. Could be the best one out of the three. He won’t be jealous of anyone and can just stay as his best friend. 

He could survive being his best friend, anything so that Jaebeom wouldn’t leave him, or be weirded out by his feelings. But he knows that one day, he’ll have to tell him all the word vomit he’s been keeping in. He hopes that day stays in the future, or better yet, never comes at all.

______

_***Present Day*** _

“What are you looking at?” 

Jinyoung gets startled when he sees Hwayoung leaning on the door frame and hides the picture behind his back. “Nothing.” He slides it into the back pocket of his pants. “Just found my old uniform.” 

“Liar, I saw you looking at a picture.” Jinyoung doesn’t respond.

He puts his uniform back in the closet. “Is mom taking a nap?” “Yeah, dad is just reading beside her. Why?” He opens his overnight bag and brings out a jacket. “Tell them that I’m going out for a walk. I won’t be long.” “Are you planning to see him?” “Why would I do that?”

“You can’t fool me, little brother.” Hwayoung crosses her arms. “A catch up session with him wouldn’t hurt, would it?” 

Jinyoung puts on his jacket. “I’m just gonna clear my head. I doubt that I’d run into him.” “You never know.” He lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll be back.”

He goes downstairs and tells Minyoung, who’s on the sofa. “You’re still washing the dishes later!” “I know.” Jinyoung heads out.

Minyoung looks back to the staircase and sees Hwayoung coming down. “Do they know?” “Yeah, I just told them.” “No, not about him going out. I mean, about them?”

Hwayoung thinks about it. “I don’t think he’s ever told them. It’s just us.” “Is he really gonna look for him?” “Probably. How much are you willing to bet that he actually runs into his ex?” “He might not, the town is far too spread out.” 

“Then wouldn’t it be such a coincidence if he does?”


	2. Chapter 2

Jinyoung puts on his earphones and is about to play music when he gets a text from Minyoung. It reads:

MY: ok dont be mad hwayoung told me to do this

MY: shes very obsessed w bets today idk why

What is she up to now?

MY: she said that she will wash the dishes tonight and next time we visit if u run into jaebeom

And there it is. Jinyoung texts back in frustration:

JY:.......why are u guys doing this to me

MY: iTS NOT ME ITS HWAYOUNG

MY: plspls come home soon i cant handle being alone w this woman D:

Jinyoung chuckles to himself and sends one last text:

JY: in that case im taking my sweet old time, good luck lol >:]]

He puts his phone in his pocket and walks through the streets. He doesn’t really have a destination in mind, he’ll just go where the wind takes him.

It doesn’t take long before the so called wind brings near the house of his old college friend, who’s currently walking his dog.

“Youngjae!” Jinyoung waves at him. “Oh? You came to visit?” “Of course, it’s been too long.” He pulls Youngjae into a hug. “Way too long. Can’t believe I saw Jaebeom earlier this month before the others!”

Guess everyone knows he’s back. He can’t escape him that easily.

“He’s staying in Korea for a week, would it be enough to call the others for a get together?” Youngjae picks up his dog, Coco, from the ground. He wishes to have everyone back in town, but he reads Jinyoung’s sullen facial expression.

“Or not?” He changes his mind. “If that’s more comfortable with the both of you.” “It’s fine, Youngjae. You can arrange it without me. I’m sure he misses you guys more.” “Sorry for bringing it up.” “No worries.”

“Are your sisters visiting too?” “Yeah, they’re at the house. I’ll tell them you said hi.”

After catching up, Jinyoung waves Youngjae goodbye and continues walking.

He’s not mad at Youngjae for suggesting a get together. All 7 of them haven’t hung out since Jaebeom moved to America. Jackson and Bambam have started their own businesses, Mark and Yugyeom moved back with their families in the city, and Youngjae stayed here. It’s been nearly impossible to get even just the 6 of them together because of their conflicting schedules. He misses his friends dearly, and the simpler times they had.

_***7 years ago*** _

“Jackson! Be careful!” “Hey! Don’t point it over here!” “Hurry up and open it already!” “Stop shouting at me! I know what I’m doing!”

Jackson finally pops the champagne bottle, miraculously not having the cork hit someone in the face. All of them start singing.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Jinyoung! Happy Birthday to you!” Yugyeom puts the birthday hat on Jinyoung’s head.

“Now pour up birthday boy!” Bambam shouts as he hands Jinyoung a glass and Jackson pours champagne in it. 19 year old Jinyoung raises his glass and immediately downs it. The boys cheer and scream as they all pour champagne into each other’s glasses and spend their time getting wasted on alcohol and horrendous amounts of takeout.

A couple of hours pass and the only remaining sober person in the room is Jaebeom. Mark has passed out on the couch, Yugyeom’s in the bathroom taking too many mirror selfies, Youngjae is spacing out next to Mark, Jackson and Bambam are wide awake having drunk conversations at the dining table, and Jinyoung is still finishing his pizza with Jaebeom patting his back.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Bambam slurs, sitting upright. “Truth or dare? What are we, Middle schoolers?” Jackson responds while fixing his posture. “Remember that mental age test we took a while ago? None of us passed the age of 14. So yes, we are middle schoolers.” Bambam slams his hand on the table. “Birthday boy, truth or dare?” Jinyoung looks at him and narrows his eyes.

“...Truth.”

Bambam puts his finger on his mouth and thinks of a question. “Ah, I got it.”

“If someone ever confessed that they liked you, what would you do?”

Jinyoung snickers, such an easy question to answer. “I’d congratulate them for being braver than me.” He points his half eaten pizza at Bambam. “I’ve been in love with my best friend since high school and I would never have the guts to tell him.”

Before Jaebeom could react, Yugyeom bursts out of the bathroom. “I knew it! I knew you had a thing for him!” He excitedly points his finger at Jinyoung while Bambam laughs so hard that he falls out of his seat. Jaebeom just sits there, mouth agape, still processing what Jinyoung just said. “You know. For someone who’s Jinyoung’s best friend, you can be kinda oblivious to his feelings.” Jackson lectures Jaebeom, his elbow slipping from the table.

“So you all knew?!” “Ah, Jaebeom.” Jackson puts his head in his hands. “Everyone knew.”

Jaebeom looks back at Jinyoung. His hair is a bit messy, some of it reaching past his thick eyebrows. His face is flushed, his cheeks and ears light pink. A few buttons of his shirt had been unbuttoned, drawing Jaebeom’s attention to his collarbone. He then notices Jinyoung’s hand has been on his thigh the entire time, but he didn’t mind.

Jinyoung makes eye contact with him. He just giggles at him, his eye wrinkles on full display, which makes Jaebeom’s heart skip a beat. He snaps out of it and catches Jinyoung’s head before it hits the table. He checks the time, a few minutes until one in the morning.

“I should take them home.” Jaebeom thinks to himself, starting with Jinyoung.

“I’ll bring Jinyoung home first!” He slings Jinyoung’s arm around his neck and helps him stand up. He’s heavier than he expected, has he been going to the gym lately? The thought of him working out makes Jaebeom feel flustered. He slaps his cheek, don’t think about things like that!

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone!” He yells at the rest of the guys before taking Jinyoung outside. He holds to his waist tightly and walks him towards his house.

There’s not many stars in the sky tonight. Luckily, Jaebeom knows the neighbourhood like the back of his hand, let alone his best friend’s house. With the sounds of crickets and the cold wind passing by them, Jaebeom decides to ask Jinyoung a question.

“Were you ever gonna tell me?”

“Tell you what?” “How you feel about me?”

“What’s there to say?” Jinyoung pinches his cheek. “We’re best friends, that’s all we’ll ever be, right?”

Jaebeom realises that it’s useless asking him in this state. He lets out a sigh and continues guiding Jinyoung back home.

_____

It’s 11 in the morning when Jinyoung wakes up in his bed, his head throbbing. He sees the hangover medicine on his bedside table and takes it. He has very little memory of last night, but something tells him that he said something he was never meant to say.

He goes downstairs and sees Minyoung preparing hangover soup. He sits down at the table and she gives him a bowl.

“Who took me home?” He asks his sister, pouring him a serving of soup. “Jaebeom did.” “Did I say anything...out of the ordinary?” “I don’t know, but I saw Jaebeom smiling and skipping after he dropped you off. I’m assuming you said something stupid.” Jinyoung puts his head in his hands and curses under his breath. What did he say last night?

He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and checks it. It’s a message from Jaebeom:

JB: are u awake

JY: i just woke up like…..a couple of mins ago

JB: how’s ur head?? u doing ok??

JY: i took medicine and minyoung made me soup, so not as bad, my head still kinda hurts

JY: btw, did i say smth stupid last night??

Jaebeom doesn’t respond right away. The three dots from his end gives Jinyoung unnecessary anxiety. He holds his breath when Jaebeom sends his text.

JB: meet me near the lake after lunch and ill tell you

His answer gives Jinyoung even more anxiety. He must have messed up so badly that he has to meet him in person. He pinches his nose bridge and continues eating his soup, worrying about all sorts of things Jaebeom could tell him.

After eating lunch with his sisters, he quickly fixes his hair, puts on his jacket, and heads out.

He jogs towards the lake near the end of the street. He sees Jaebeom’s silhouette facing the view of the lake, wearing a black leather jacket, blue jeans, and white sneakers. He takes a deep breath, preparing for the worst to come.

Jaebeom spots Jinyoung walking towards him and waves him over, flashing him a grin. Why is he smiling? Is he going to tease him for something?

“Stop smiling at me, you’re making me anxious.” Jinyoung nervously laughs while approaching his friend. “What’s there to be nervous about?” “Your text was so ominous dude.”

The two of them look at the lake. There were crisp brown leaves floating on the surface, and fish swimming underneath. The water was green-ish, but reflected the light of the sun. The type of scenery for deep and meaningful conversations.

“The view feels a bit different today.” “Ah, stop stalling already, just tell me!” Jinyoung turns to look at Jaebeom, only for him to meet his eyes.

“I wasn’t talking about the lake, Jinyoung.”

He stares into Jaebeom’s eyes, taking in the beauty that is his eye moles. The sun hitting his face lets Jinyoung see his gorgeous features and skin complexion. He notices that he has a bit of stubble on his chin, was that always there?

“Do you really have no recollection of what you said last night?”

“Barely, other than Bambam asking me a truth or dare question.”

“Do you remember what the question was?” “Something related to a crush.”

It takes Jinyoung a while to recall, but his eyes widen when he remembers what happened.

“...Jaebeom! Uh, it’s not like that!” He panics. “I, I didn’t know what I was saying!”

Jaebeom just smiles at him warmly and takes his hand. “Jinyoung, I love you too.”

Jinyoung stops panicking and shifts his attention to their hands, Jaebeom’s hand feels so warm in his, a feeling he thought he’d never experience.

“Were you really never gonna tell me?” “I didn’t wanna ruin what we already have. I didn’t even know you liked men.” Jaebeom shrugs his shoulders. “Fair enough.”

“I thought I was going to lose you, really. That you’d distance yourself from me if I said anything.”

Jaebeom holds his hand tightly and strokes the back of it with his thumb. “As if I could survive being away from you.”

Jinyoung lets himself relax. All these years pining over his best friend, accepting that Jaebeom wouldn’t be his, that he would never get to do the things he wanted to do with him romantically. He thought a life where Jaebeom loved him too was never going to be real, but he’s here, holding his hand, and telling him he loves him.

“So...what do we do now?” They look at each other and snicker. Everyone always worries about confessing, but no one ever tells you what to do when the person actually returns your feelings.

“Do we tell the guys about this?” “They’ll ask us eventually, considering most of them heard you say it out loud.” “Ah, they’re going to tease me so much.” “Us. They’re going to tease us.”

“Do you plan on telling your mom?” “Why? Are you gonna tell your parents?” “Hell no. It will be more awkward. After a few months, I’ll probably just tell Minyoung and Hwayoung. They can keep a secret.” “True, I’m not telling my mom either.” “We’re adults, aren’t we? They don’t need a say in our relationship.” “You’re right!”

They laugh together, not letting go of each other’s hands. Jinyoung knows he has to go back home soon, but he refuses to let this moment end so soon. Not when he can finally call Jaebeom his and his only. Not when he can refer to him as his boyfriend and lover. And definitely not when he has the opportunity to know how Jaebeom’s lips feel on his.

But it’s too soon for that.

“You should probably go back.” “I know.” They slowly let go of their hands, lingering for as long as they could. They can’t let the neighbours see them and tell on them, so they decide to return home separately.

Jinyoung waves Jaebeom goodbye and puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket, failing to hide his giddy smile. He bites the inside of his cheek as punishment, but Jaebeom’s words play in his head like a record on loop. “I love you too. I love you too. I love you too.” It feels like Valentine's Day in late September. Quite possibly the best birthday (Well, a day after his birthday) present.

He won’t forget this day, never in a million years.

______

_***Present Day*** _

September 23, the day that started it all. How convenient their anniversary was just the day after his birthday. It always meant Jaebeom had to think of two things to give to him, it was nice getting double the gifts for a while.

Jinyoung plays the next song on his playlist and turns up the volume a bit, just to drown out all the memories flooding back to him.

It’s a shame it all had to end just a few years later.


	3. Chapter 3

Jinyoung walks across the street in front of a building with only two floors. It looks like it’s been newly repainted. It’s now white, with heavy glass doors at the entrance. He remembers how the old building used to look, as Jaebeom rented one of the rooms here before to use as his studio. It’s now been turned into a simple gift shop, but Jinyoung can’t help but reminisce all the times Jaebeom took him here to show off all his songs.

_***4 years ago*** _

“How long have you been working on this one?” “A few weeks now, have a listen.”

Jaebeom plays the first few seconds of his song. “How is it?” “Pretty good, as always.” Jinyoung kisses the top of his head and sits down on the beanie at the back of the room.

“How many songs did you send that label?” “Two or three? If they reject them, I’ll just find a different one. But I haven’t gotten a call yet.” Jaebeom keeps his eyes on his monitor.

Jinyoung brings his phone out and orders takeout for the both of them, letting out a deep sigh. He didn’t expect that he’d spend another day in this studio, not that he hates it, he can’t complain when Jaebeom looks this attractive when he’s in his element. But he hasn’t taken him outside the studio for months now, showing him all the songs he’s been sending to different US labels. Working as a producer for a big label has always been his dream. He always talked about collaborating with popular artists and producers and having his name on the credits of albums since high school.

Ever since he earned enough money to rent the studio, he’s been going there non-stop. He treats it like a second home, a creative escape from his boring work. Jinyoung had always admired Jaebeom’s passion and love for music. But lately, he often wonders where he fits in with his big plans to move to America and work there, if he’s in there at all.

“When you finish that song, we should go somewhere else. Mark said there’s an amusement park that just opened in the city, we can invite the guys sometime!” “Mhm.” Jaebeom keeps his eyes glued to the monitor, not even sparing him a glance. “Or it could just be us. My 22nd birthday and our anniversary are close, can you least consider it? It’ll be my treat.” “Mhm. We’ll go there soon.” Jinyoung doubts him. 

“...Are you even listening to me?” He whispers under his breath, he’d rather not get into an argument now. Not when Jaebeom is more irritable even in his place of comfort. 

Jinyoung’s phone rings, signaling that the delivery arrived. “Oh, I’ll get it.” Jaebeom quickly stands up and exits his studio, his footsteps on the staircase heard until Jinyoung closes the door. He sits back on the beanie and waits for him to come back.

He hears the sound of vibrating, but not from his phone. He looks at Jaebeom’s studio desk and finds his phone near the edge. Someone’s calling him, but the number isn’t familiar to Jinyoung. Should he bring it to him downstairs? He looks closer at the number, then remembers what Jaebeom told him earlier.

Could it be the label calling him? So soon? They wouldn’t be reaching out to him unless...they...

Wait. No.

This is the moment Jaebeom’s been gushing about nearly his whole life. If he gets accepted, then it’s certain that he’ll move to America. Jinyoung doesn’t know if he can handle being in a long distance relationship. If he leaves, he has to wait years until he can see Jaebeom in person again. But it’s his dream, he’s been losing sleep and skipping meals just so he could send songs to them. It would be painful to see his efforts go to waste. But is Jinyoung really going to let him slip away? After finally being able to love him and call him his boyfriend? His first love?

Jinyoung’s head spirals with so many conflicting thoughts, but he feels his arm raising on its own. He flexes his fingers and eyes the phone. It would be so easy to decline the call and act like nothing happened. To keep Jaebeom here, with him, even just for a little longer. His pointer finger approaches the red button, Jinyoung’s selfish desires flood his mind. “Don’t take him away from me just yet, not when I actually have a chance. Please.”

Jinyoung gasps when he hears the studio door open. He quickly puts his hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart. “Oh? What happened to you?” Jaebeom looks at his boyfriend weirdly, he’s never seen him this shocked before. It’s like he saw a ghost.

He looks over to his desk to find his phone still vibrating. “Were you gonna answer this for me? How long have they been calling?” He puts the takeout on his desk and answers the phone call.

Jinyoung leans against the wall to calm himself down when he overhears Jaebeom’s phone conversation.

“Hello?”

“Oh sir! You listened to them? I’m glad you liked them!”

“...Really?! Thank you sir! I’ll update you when I make the arrangements! I look forward to working with you!”

Jaebeom hangs up and turns to Jinyoung, flashing him the biggest smile he’s had in a long time. “They liked it!”

He runs up to Jinyoung, cups his face, and plants a kiss on his lips and cheek. “Oh my god! They said they want to work with me! I can’t believe this!” He wraps his arms around his neck and hugs him tightly. 

“I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t for you. Thank you so much for supporting me, my love.”

Jinyoung slowly wraps his arms around Jaebeom’s waist, placing his chin on his shoulder. “Congratulations.” He buries his face in the crook of his neck and gently rubs his lover’s lower back.

______

The two men walk outside hand in hand, Jaebeom slowing down a bit to match Jinyoung’s tired pace. He excitedly tells him all the things he plans to do, and Jinyoung lips curl into a weak grin.

“Then, I’ll make a mixtape. I could feature other artists too. If you ever want someone’s signature, I could get it for you!” Jinyoung just rubs Jaebeom’s hand with his thumb, not uttering a word.

“I’ll dedicate a song to you, bet you’ll have fun guessing which one it is though!” He looks at his partner, realising that he’s been awfully quiet the whole time.

“Is there something wrong?” Jinyoung shakes his head. “No, it’s just.” “Just what?”

“You know that saying, when one door closes, another one opens?” “Of course.” “Well, think of this as your open door.” “Then...which one am I closing?”

Jinyoung abruptly stops walking, he looks Jaebeom in the eye, but with a serious expression.

“Jaebeom, I think we should break up.”

Jaebeom’s eyes widened. “Huh?! What makes you think that?” “Think this through, Jaebeom, the timezones in America and Korea are so far apart. And we’re both busy people, we’ll barely have time for each other.” “No, that’s not true. We can make it work.” “Jaebeom, do we think we can handle it?” “We can! And we will! Jinyoung please!”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I don’t even know if I’m still a priority in your life or if I’m merely an afterthought.” “You were never an afterthought! I’m sorry if I made you feel that way because I was so focused on my music. I promise I won’t do it again, just please! Don’t leave me! I can’t imagine a future without you!”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that there will be an us in the future. Can you confidently say that we’ll still be together?”

They stare at each other in silence, Jaebeom’s hand gripping tightly on Jinyoung’s. The only sounds that fill the air are the cars driving past them and chattering in the distance.

“Jinyoung, you were one of the first people who supported my dream. Without you, what’s the point?” “That’s not true. You had this dream before we were together, before our friendship even. I’ll only hold you back and be a burden to you.” “I never saw you as a burden. Why are you doing this?” 

Jinyoung slowly tries to remove his hand from Jaebeom’s grasp, but he holds it tighter, and grabs his other hand. 

“Answer me. Why are you doing this?” 

“This is for both of our sakes. I’ll only get in your way, and I don’t want to do that to you, not when you’ve worked so hard. Please, I really think this is the best decision for us.” “Jinyoung…”

Jaebeom loosens his grip as Jinyoung steps a few steps backwards. 

“I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung turns his back to Jaebeom and starts walking away. The last thing he heard from him was a faint “No..”

He made one of the hardest decisions of his life, ultimately a necessary one. He can’t help but be tempted to look back. To look into his eyes just one more time. But he already said what needed to be said, and it will only hurt him more to see Jaebeom in pain. He feels tears running down his cheeks, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle the sounds of him crying.

That was it. That was the last time he saw him. Before he knew it, Jaebeom had boarded a plane, heading to his new place in New York. The only things Jinyoung had left of him were old school photos, a hoodie he forgot to return, and his early demo songs saved on his phone.

______

_***Present Day*** _

Jinyoung browses through his playlist while he’s lost in thought. 

For someone who spent years hiding his feelings just so he wouldn’t lose the love of his life, it’s still surprising to remember that he took the initiative to let him go.

He looks back at his phone and decides to switch up the songs. He goes over to soundcloud and searches:

‘Defsoul mixtape’

After losing all contact with Jaebeom, his soundcloud was Jinyoung’s only way of checking in on him. He’s not as updated with the western music industry to know how he’s doing over there, but Jaebeom usually uploads personal mixtapes on his account. He has been listening to them ever since, even if some of them hit too close to home. 

He remembers the first volume Jaebeom posted there, just a few months after they broke up. It was filled with somber, depressing tracks, with lyrics that made Jinyoung wonder if he made the right choice in the past:

_‘To the memories of you that’s left  
I go back everyday  
I thought it would be everlasting  
But you are nowhere to be found, why’_ (Stopline ft. Rick Bridges)

_‘Due to one mistake  
I’m always regretting it everyday  
I’ll turn that moment around  
Please give me one chance’_ (Come Back To Me)

_‘I know we’re not together anymore,  
But I keep loving you, even today  
I love you, I love you alone  
No one, not even friends can understand me  
The world is tinted with rain_

_I don’t know why I can’t let you go, oh baby  
I don’t know why I can’t forget you’_ (Rainy)

It was like Jaebeom was grieving their relationship and pouring his heart out into his songs. Like he was calling out to Jinyoung to let him know he still cares, even if he tries not to. When Jinyoung first listened to this volume, it was as if Jaebeom put a knife to his own heart, and begged Jinyoung to watch him bleed out. This volume felt like a heavy weight on Jinyoung’s shoulders, the guilt of knowing exactly how he hurt him. It made him question his decisions, his feelings, his emotions. 

Just two months after, Jaebeom released a second volume. The discography was filled with passive aggressive, angsty tracks. The lyrics felt like a middle finger being raised. Like Jaebeom was directly telling him, “Fuck you for breaking my heart.”:

_‘I will pray to the end  
That you, who lost me, will regret everyday  
I’m going to stay in your memory forever  
So that you will be hurt’_ (Runaway)

_‘Don’t look for me anymore  
I don’t want you  
Even if you long for me  
Even if you need me to death  
I won’t be moved at all, never’_ (Don’t Touch Me)

_‘Now whatever you do  
I don’t care  
I hate myself for being like this but no way  
Even if I thought about how to turn it back  
It just stays as thoughts  
Baby you leave me, I don’t care’_ (I Don’t Care)

This time, it seems like Jaebeom decided to take the knife out of his heart, and instead, stabbed Jinyoung with it. He wanted him to feel his pain and to regret everything, the closest thing he could get to revenge. They both tried to hate each other, to remove what was left of each other. Jinyoung thought about selling the hoodie he left behind, ripping the photos of them together, never wanting anything to do with Jaebeom. But erasing all of their memories together would mean pretending like some of the best years of his life didn’t exist. He didn’t want to make a choice he is certain he’ll regret, and he’s thankful to his past self for not letting his bitterness get the best of him.

Jinyoung walks into a park, one that just so happens to be in the same area as his old high school. He would always want to skip class to hang out here, but he was too scared of getting in trouble.

Several green leaves flew to the ground, otherwise, on the benches. He sweeps a couple of them to the side while walking towards a bench, not realising that someone was already sitting there.

He looks up to see a man dressed in a white hoodie, with a pink and aqua colored coconut tree stitched near the chest area. He was wearing blue patchwork jeans and white rubber shoes, a simple, chic, and comfortable style. The man has his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, his long and wavy bangs go a little past his eyes. Jinyoung could see a bit of his side profile, the bridge of his nose seems to be straight and his jawline quite defined. 

The man feels Jinyoung staring at him and turns his head towards him. Jinyoung stops in his tracks and takes a closer look at him. He notices that he has a small piercing on his nose, and that his broad shoulders took up most of the bench.

The stranger stands up and sweeps his bangs out of his face. Jinyoung catches a glimpse of his eyes, and the two moles on his eyelid.

“Jaebeom?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Jinyoung? What are you doing here?”

“I’d love to ask you the same thing, but your mom already told me.”

“You still live in the neighbourhood?” “No, I’m just visiting for the weekend. I drove back from the city.” “Oh, you live in the city now?” “Moved out a few years ago.”

They feel a chill wind pass by them, the sounds of leaves hitting the pavement fill in the slightly awkward silence.

“...Has it really been that long?” “4 years is not that long.” “Time is just a social construct.” Jaebeom’s comment makes Jinyoung snicker. He sits back down and pats the bench, offering Jinyoung space to sit down.

“This might come as a shock, but I’m glad I ran into you.” Jaebeom furrows his eyebrows. “Why?” “Hwayoung has to wash the dishes tonight and next time we visit. She made a bet that I’d run into you today.” “Hwayoung and Minyoung are home too?” “Yeah, I’ll tell them you said hi.”

They see the sun about to set, it’s positioned just above the roof of their high school. The sky shows bright shades of orange and yellow, the thin clouds only move a few centimetres.

“So...how’s New York? Have you collaborated with anyone?” “Just a few people. I don’t think you know them though, they’re very indie. I’ve worked on a couple of tracks with them.” “That’s pretty cool. How’s your place?” “It’s just a simple apartment. It does have a small area that I consider my personal studio, separate from the label studio.” “You produce your soundcloud tracks in there?” “You still follow me there?” Jinyoung tilts his head, so Jaebeom didn’t intend for him to listen to those songs?

“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I still support you?” “You listened to those volumes? Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t really have other outlets.” “It’s fine, Jaebeom. They’re all good.” He pats his shoulder. “You did good. You achieved your dream.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say I achieved it.” Jaebeom plays with his fingers. “I honestly thought I wanted to make it bigger. To be recognised by the industry and win awards, stuff like that. But the more I worked there, I realised that I enjoy just being my alias and doing what I love at my own pace. Working with people and deadlines can get so exhausting sometimes.”

“But you’ll still work there, right?” “Yeah, I got to meet some cool people and gain new knowledge on producing, so I don’t regret it. I’m sticking with it.”

“What about you? What do you do in the city?” “Boring office work. There’s really not much going on with me.” “In the past 4 years?” “Do you really wanna go there?” Jaebeom leaves him be.

“Oh, right” Jinyoung pulls out the picture from his back pocket. “I found this in the pocket of my old blazer.” He hands it to Jaebeom. “So it was with you this whole time?” “I never checked the pockets until earlier.” “My mom took this picture, didn’t she? I was so sad when she couldn’t find it again before I left.” “Well, it’s yours now. I’d return the jacket but I left it at home.” “You still have the jacket? Ah, just keep it. I have too many hoodies.”

Jinyoung laughs. He feels weirdly comfortable with Jaebeom, even if he’s his ex. It’s a strange yet warm feeling. Jaebeom doesn’t even look like he’s uncomfortable or bitter. Nice to know time healed them both. But Jinyoung does want to know something.

“I promised myself that I wouldn’t bring up, you know. But I do wanna ask you something, if you don’t mind.” “Go ahead, it’s the past after all.”

“...Did you ever regret, um, being with me?” 

Jaebeom ponders on it and puts the picture in his pocket. 

“No.”

Jinyoung’s a bit taken aback by his answer. Not even after he broke his heart?

“I will admit, I was very devastated when you ended things. It took me venting through R&B songs to understand how I felt. But if I kept the bitterness in my heart and tried to erase you, I’d be missing most of my high school, college and early adulthood. You were a big part of that, and I didn’t want to lose all those memories.”

Jinyoung smiles fondly at him, he thought the exact same thing. Even after all this time, they still mirror each other’s words and sentiments. It makes Jinyoung feel at ease knowing both of them moved on without any remorse.

“You saw Youngjae earlier, right?” “I did! Youngjae looks a little different but Coco hasn’t aged! She still looks like a puppy.” “He told me he wanted to get everyone together sometime, you’re still gonna be here until next week?” “Probably. I’m on a break so I’m free whenever you guys are.” “Oh, I don’t think I’m joining.”

Jaebeom turns to him. “Huh? Why not?” “I’m just sleeping over at my parent’s until tomorrow, then I’m back to my job.” “Can you really not go?” “It’ll be difficult, it’s fine. The guys probably miss you more.” “They’ll miss you too, Jinyoung. Please.” 

He sees Jaebeom looking at him with puppy-like eyes. He didn’t expect him to be pleading to come with them, but he’s also not surprised. This day took a turn for what could have been worse. He thought they’d be more awkward after exchanging short pleasantries, but they’ve been sitting on this bench for a little over an hour, catching up and talking like old friends.

“Fine. But don’t be too sad if I really can’t make it.” “You’ve gotta be free at least once in the whole week.” 

“...You really don’t mind that I’m there?” “Jinyoung, look at us. We’re practically best friends again. If someone is gonna make it awkward, it’s gonna be one of the guys.” 

“You’re okay with being best friends again?”

“Jinyoung. It’s all behind us, okay? We’re both mature adults now, time did us a favor.”

Jaebeom offers his hand. “Best friends?”

Jinyoung takes his hand and shakes it. “Best friends.”

“For some reason, it feels awkward to say this. But the whole time I was in New York, I missed you. Then after getting over you, I missed my best friend, my ride or die.”

“I missed you too Jaebeom.”

“Which reminds me.” Jaebeom pulls his phone. “Do you still have my number? Or did you delete it before I left?” Jinyoung scratches the back of his head and looks away. “...I might have...deleted it.” 

“No wonder you never texted me. Ah, you couldn’t give your ex some encouraging words before he left? Not even send me videos or call me?” “Right after I broke up with you?! Listen, how would you feel if someone ripped your heart from your chest and then showed you a cat video?! Would that have made you feel better?!” “A cat video would have been nice!”

Jinyoung bursts into laughter, covering his mouth with his hand and slapping his thigh with the other. “You’re insane!” 

The two of them exchange phones. Jinyoung attempts to catch his breath from laughing too hard.

“Couldn’t even end it like a gentleman.” Jaebeom flips his bangs with sass.

Jaebeom looks over at Jinyoung, catching a glimpse of his eye wrinkles. It’s the first time he’s seen them in 4 years.

After inputting his number, he opens the camera of Jinyoung’s phone and starts taking selfies.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!” “Just in case Hwayoung needs proof.” 

Jinyoung attempts to grab his phone back, but Jaebeom holds it up high. “Oh! We should take a picture together! Let’s send it to the guys so that they know we’re okay with each other!”

Jinyoung puts his hand down. “You know, you’re a lot more unhinged than I remembered. Did America do something to you?”

“Let’s just say, I’ve met very interesting people there.”

Jaebeom lowers the phone and positions it so both of them could be in frame. They take a couple of selfies and switch phones again. “Send those to me later.”

Jinyoung takes this as an opportunity to tease his sister:

JY: *selfie of him and Jaebeom*

JY: divorce selfie :D

It doesn’t take long for Hwayoung to reply:

HY: ………..

HY: ok i had a VERY STRONG FEELING that this was gonna happen but still doubted it a bit

HY: but What. The. Fuck.

HY: anyways hiiii jaebeom !!! minyoung said hi too

The two of them giggle while Jaebeom opens the group chat and sends their selfie there as well:

JB: *selfie of him and Jinyoung*

JB: divorce selfie 

Jaebeom’s phone starts blowing up with notifications:

JS: HUHHH

BB: wait whattt 

YG: YOURE BACK????

BB: are u guys like back together or sumn 

JS: JAEBEOM 

JS: WHY DIDNT U TELL US U GOT BACK

YG: WHY WOULD HE CAPTION THEIR PHOTO DIVORCE SELFIE IF THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER

YJ: :00 i didnt think u guys would run into each other

BB: wait srsly tho are yall together again

JB: nah we just bros now

BB: for realll

JS: I JUST GOT BACK FROM A MEETING WHAT IS GOING ON

YG: ohhhhhh

YJ: so we can all hang out again??

JS: IM SO CONFUSED

JB: yea

JB: lets just wait until jinyoung is free so all of us can go

YJ: nice ;>

Mark just leaves all their messages on read.

______

“Thursday, ok? You better not bail on us.” “Why would I bail on you guys?” “Just don’t. It took me 14 hours to fly here, it’ll be a waste if I can’t hang out with all of you. Everyone else will be available too.” “I checked, I’ll be there on Thursday. I can even pick you up.” “You have your own car now?” “It’s second hand, but it drives pretty well. Just tell me which hotel you’re in.”

The two of them walk back to the neighbourhood together. The sun is setting over the lake, now showing orange and pink in the sky.

“This neighbourhood barely changed since I was gone.” “That’s what I thought too, the lake is still there, the houses look the same. Your old studio got turned into a gift shop though.” “I saw. I kinda miss that studio.”

“Are you producing stuff at the moment?” “Just some personal tracks. I can send you the demo.” 

They walk in silence for a while.

“...Actually, I have something to ask you too. About, you know.” “Ask away.”

“When you listened to those songs, did it...make it harder?” 

“Harder to what?” “To heal?”

Jinyoung put his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “A little bit.”

“I’m really sorry about that.” “It’s alright, Jaebeom.”

“I didn’t think you’d still follow me there. You cut me off on everything else.”

“I missed hearing your voice. Even if that voice was telling me to fuck off, I kinda deserved it. You didn’t really get much of a say all those years ago. I’m sorry for that too.”

Jaebeom pats his back and they continue walking.

“Also, how did my mom tell you that I was back?” “She dropped by to ask for extra ingredients. She’s planning on making you something.” “Is it spicy tofu? Oh my god, I haven’t had that in forever!” 

They approach the front of Jinyoung’s house. They shake hands again and pull each other into a hug. “This was nicer than I thought.” “Right? I didn’t think we’d talk for this long, let alone walk home together.” “Guess time really is the best medicine.”

“Isn’t it laughter?” “Let me have this moment, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung walks to his front door and waves his best friend goodbye. He unlocks it and goes inside, seeing Minyoung and Hwayoung’s shocked faces.

“So you guys are like...okay now?” Minyoung asks. “Yeah, I’m hanging out with him and the others on Thursday.”

“Ah, I should stop making bets.” Hwayoung sulks while her brother sticks his tongue at her.

______

The sky is already dark and only a few stars could be seen when Jaebeom returns to his hotel room after having dinner with his family. He uses his key card to unlock the door and settles down on his bed. He finds his suitcase and brings out a small photo album. 

The album was about the size of his hand, and its mustard colored cover was inscribed with his initials. It was one of the first things he bought when he came to New York, and since then, he filled it up with photos from his school days to his recent trips in America. He brings this album with him everywhere, and looks at it every time he needs inspiration. 

He pulls out the picture Jinyoung gave him from his pocket and opens the album. He goes through the first pages and finds an empty sleeve, the one he saved for this specific photo. He gently slides it in the sleeve.

Jaebeom has always loved photography. He considers it another hobby he invests a lot in. Name a significant moment in his life, and he probably has a photo of it. Him and Jinyoung’s first day in high school, academic awards, school events, high school graduation, and the day he realised that he was in love with his best friend.

_***8 years ago*** _

“Jaebeom! We should go on this ride!”

“Ah, hold on. I’m kinda hungry.” 

The two of them line up to get food. They find a table and settle down to eat.

“How did you find the rollercoaster?” “Fun, but way too high for my liking. My stomach dropped like 5 times the whole ride!” “Jaebeom, I didn’t know your voice could go that high. We should do falsettos on the next one!”

The boys take their time eating their snacks, there’s so many rides they haven’t tried yet, but the lines are too long. They even ran into a couple of classmates and friends while walking around, guess everyone else had the same idea to go here after high school graduation. There are families and groups of friends of different sizes either lining up for rides, playing carnival games, or eating corn dogs and laughing. 

Jinyoung finishes up cotton candy and eyes one of the carnival games. “I’m gonna win that stuffed toy. Watch me.” He stands up and walks over to the ring toss stand.

Jaebeom pulls out his small camera and looks through the viewfinder. He zooms in on Jinyoung, continuously failing to win the stuffed toy. He takes a few candid shots of him throwing the rings and missing the targets. After Jinyoung’s several attempts, the person handling the booth takes pity on him and gives him a free bubble blower.

Jinyoung sees Jaebeom’s camera as he walks back to the table. “Were you taking pictures of me this whole time?” “....No.” Jaebeom snaps another photo of him sulking.

“At least I got something! Let’s take a picture over there!” Jinyoung drags Jaebeom towards the colourful lights hung around an empty area. He starts blowing bubbles while Jaebeom snaps photos of him.

He zooms on Jinyoung’s face, watching as he blows through the bubble wand. He sees Jinyoung smiling through the viewfinder and makes sure to capture his good angles.

The lights and scenery enhance Jinyoung’s face and features. Although Jaebeom has known him for 4 years now, something about him feels different. Yes, he still has that childish side of him but looking at him now, he seems more mature. Jinyoung sweeps his hair up, which makes Jaebeom flustered. He’s seen Jinyoung’s face almost everyday, but why is it now that he feels like this? 

“Your turn! I’ll take your picture.”

Jinyoung gets Jaebeom’s camera and tells him to pose. He puts his hands in his pocket to give off a chill vibe, but Jinyoung teases him. “Ah, Jaebeom. You’re so cute, trying to look cool. Do another pose.”

Jaebeom blushes at the sudden compliment and puts his hand over his face to hide the pink in his cheeks. Jinyoung loves it and continues taking photos of him. He giggles when Jinyoung changes his position to capture better angles. He’s so cute. Jaebeom, what are you saying?

Jinyoung asks someone to take a picture of both of them. He wraps his arm around Jaebeom’s shoulders and pulls him close. Why is he nervous? He’s been with him for the past 4 years, and yet, his heart is beating so fast. Jinyoung seems so dreamy lately, or perhaps it’s because he’s not around anyone else as much as he’s around him. He gets this warm, tingly feeling in his stomach, something he’s never felt before. People tell him that this kind of feeling is when you know you’re in….

Oh.

He hears the camera click. The person gives the camera back to Jaebeom, and Jinyoung pulls his wrist, dragging him towards the line of another ride.

Jaebeom realises exactly how he feels, but he worries for the outcome if he falls too deep. He pats himself on the cheek and thinks to himself.

“This is an issue for another time.”

_***Present Day*** _

Jaebeom looks fondly at those memories and closes the album. Even if Jinyoung eventually broke his heart and he thought they’d never meet again, Jaebeom held onto these photos in hopes that he’d see Jinyoung again and make amends. Time does indeed change the way you look at things and somehow makes sense of it. It brought them to the same place once they learned to move on, and reunited them as best friends. Jinyoung did end up making the necessary decision, although it was hard. But Jaebeom couldn’t be happier that he got his best friend back after all these years.

He pulls his laptop from his suitcase, plugs in his earphones, and continues tweaking his new personal demo song.

______

“And he was just there?”

“Yeah, sitting on the bench in the park.” 

“Oh, so it must have been fate.” “Ah, it was just a coincidence.”

“An incredibly lucky coincidence. Meeting your ex in the same park at the same time?” Hwayoung lies next to her brother on his bed, facing the ceiling at around 1 in the morning.

The two of them lay awake at this ungodly yet peaceful hour. The sound of crickets is faint and the moonlight shines through the window of Jinyoung’s childhood bedroom, showing tiny particles of dust in the air. The siblings lie in silence for a while.

“How was it? Seeing him again?” “Nice.” Jinyoung’s lips form a subtle smile.

“It wasn’t awkward?” “A little at the start, but we just...kept talking.”

Hwayoung shuffles on the bed until she’s comfortable again. 

“Can I ask you a hypothetical question? Try not to think about it too much.” Jinyoung can’t promise his sister that. She puts her hands under her head. 

“Would you...have been happier if Jaebeom chose you over his career?”

Jinyoung lets out a deep sigh and thinks about it for a while.

“That would have been worse, honestly.” He continues staring at the ceiling.

“The whole reason why I let him go was because I almost held him back from his dream. If he chose me, he’d regret it in the long run and resent me more. I doubt he’d spare another glance at me if that was the case. The outcome is the same, us broken up, but I’d rather have him back at my best friend than a complete stranger.”

“That’s true.” Hwayoung holds her brother’s hand. “I’m glad you guys are on better terms.”

She gets up from the bed and tells Jinyoung good night, closing the door on her way out. Jinyoung lies flat on his bed and looks back at the ceiling.

He is more than thankful that him and Jaebeom are friends again, even after a confusing and painful history. Although the present ended up leading them back to each other, he can’t help but wonder what could have been if maybe Jaebeom never had to leave, or if he never said anything. 

Or perhaps, if their true feelings are still buried deep down in fear of making the same mistake.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my second au so any kudos, comments, or criticism will be very much appreciated !!
> 
> thank u for reading and waiting for all the chapters to be posted :>


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